A Mother’s Memories

 

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A Mother’s Memories

Your birthday is today and memories flood my consciousness. You are a grown woman, friend, wife, and mother today, but I remember the child that you were…

I think of your birth and the joy that I felt when you were finally placed in my arms. I remember being so aware of the awesome responsibility given to me by God. I also remember the fear and praying, “God, don’t let me screw this up!”

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How’s Your Patience Lately?

How’s your patience lately?

How’s your patience lately? Patience is said to be a virtue. Mine runs a little too short. The person I am most impatient with is myself. You see, I am a born-again perfectionist straight from my mother’s womb. I always tried to please her but nothing could solve the puzzle for me.

But I wonder what some others think about patience. Let’s see.

Susan…

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Depression and Jesus

My Daughter’s Depression and Jesus

 

It is 10:00 pm and I sit in my room praying and worrying about my daughter because she stopped taking her antidepressant two weeks ago and we (her husband and me) just found out a couple of days ago. I can see her spiraling into a deep depression. She is so sad, apathetic, sleeping poorly with appetite change. Even when I try to engage her in a conversation, she speaks the fewest words possible.

There isn’t much I can do except give her love and support while praying for her. She did tell her psychiatric nurse practitioner and started back on the medication, but as a nurse, I know that her blood level for the antidepressant is very low and it takes three to four weeks for the blood level to return to where it should be.

I encourage her to get up and get dressed because it will make her feel better and her children, ages five and eight, won’t worry about her. However, she remains in her pajamas. I’m not sure when she showered last but she always showered every day. It is like watching someone you love go down Alice’s rabbit hole. I can’t follow her because I have depression myself and can’t take the risk that I might spiral also.

The children play quietly on their Kindles or watch TV since she isn’t interacting with them as much. I spend some time with them, but they want their mother back. You can see it in their eyes as they look at her, stealing a glance, with a momentary frown and confusion in their eyes…wondering where mommy went.

My son-in-law does the best he can though he is busy with changes at work and the stress of being responsible and the only moneymaker in the house. I help some with rent and utilities but I am on a fixed income, Social Security, since retiring.

And now that I have spoken my concerns and fears, it is time to hand it all over to God. He is the one who can heal her depression. He can heal my anxiety and fear. He can heal my son-in-law’s stress and exhaustion. He can provide for us financially. He is the Great I AM and the Great Physician. Jesus, my Lord is ABLE.

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My Prayer…

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My God and Lord,

I come to You with a heavy heart tonight and ask for your touch upon each of us. Heal my daughter’s depression and bring hope, life, and love back into her life. Provide her with wisdom about her medications and why she needs to continue taking them. Help her with any side-effects that cause her to stop taking her medication. Help her to feel joy again and gratitude for her wonderful husband and her children. Let her feel your love and stay close to her as she fights this battle with her depression. I have faith that You can help me to do all things… and I claim this verse…

Philippians  4:13  I can do all things through him who gives me strength.

Father, give me your strength that is all-powerful. Lay your hands on my grandchildren. Hold them close and protect them. Let them feel your loving kindness and take away any worries they may have. Jesus, touch my son-in-law who is now physically ill and at the emergency room because of dizziness, loss of balance, and vomiting. Heal him also, Lord. Provide relief of the illness, stress, and worry in his life. Provide for all of us financially for your word says:

Psalm 68:10 …your flock found a dwelling in it; in your goodness, O God, you provided for the needy…
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My Lord, I confess, that I don’t spend enough time with You. I confess my trust issues and ask that You help me to overcome. Build my faith, Jesus, as You keep me beneath your wings. I know that…I know that…I know that You are on the throne and You are in controI. I trust in You because You are the Great I AM and Creator of everything.  You tell me to be still and know that You are God.’

Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”

I praise you, Lord, because You are worthy of all praise. You are on the throne. You know all things. You are full of loving kindness for your children. You are always at my side and I trust You completely. I say unto You…

Psalm 40:3 He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.

 
Thank You, Lord Jesus
Amen. 
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  If you do not know Jesus, let me tell you how to know my Lord…
 
First, find a Bible and read  John 3:16 16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Know that Jesus died for you on the cross
 
Second, confess your sins to Him, and ask forgiveness.
 
Then third, ask Jesus to come and live inside you in your heart. And a great choir of angels shall rejoice...Luke 15:7 “Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

 

Mercy’s Angel

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Mercy’s Angel

 

Angel of Mercy sent
by the Holy of Holies.
She pours out God’s
gifts, time and mercy.

Time and mercy to
the lost on earth,
so they will seek His
forgiveness for eternity.

The Angel serves Him
as protector of earth
and the lost inhabitants
who refuse God’s grace.

She will be reassigned
with His second coming.
She will join Chior Hosts
singing all God’s praises.
 © Susans Soul

Susan Langer