Why Won’t She Leave?

I am still discussing Domestic Violence since this is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Today, I am discussing “Why She Stays” although the roles can be reversed and it can be a man being physically abused by a woman or gay partner on partner domestic violence. The reason for staying are many. Just some of the reasons listed by The Domestic Abuse Project (DAP) According to DAP “Not all of these reasons are found in each case.  A combination of some of them can often be found and can be compelling enough to keep a woman in the relationship.”

Some of the reasons are:


  1. A woman may fear her partner’s actions if she leaves. She is afraid she’ll be killed or hurt.
  2. The effects of abuse may make it difficult to leave with a low self-esteem.
  3. She may have concerns about her children needing a father, or hurting them.
  4. A woman may be isolated by her partner making it difficult for her to leave or get help.
  5. A woman’s personal history may have shaped her attitude toward abuse such as coming from an abusive home.
  6. She may be deeply attached to, love her partner and hoping for a change.
  7. Some women are taught that it is their job to maintain the relationship and support their partners, so She may feel guilty about leaving or feel it is her “job” to maintain the relationship.
  8. A woman may be financially dependent on her partner or their partner may be dependent on her.
  9. Our culture message is that a woman’s value depends on her being in a relationship.  


What follows is a 12-minute video from YouTube by Annisa LiMara titled, “Why I Stayed | Why I Left | Domestic Violence.” Please take the time to listen.