I really dreaded writing about today’s prompt, food, until I found the chocolate quote. I have struggled with food my whole life and have found it to be my best friend at times and my worst enemy at other times. I am obese and have been on more diets and food plans than I can count on two hands. None have been successful for very long because as soon as I begin to get close to my goal, I self-sabotage and start eating again. My weight gain started as a child when I was sexually abused and would use food to comfort myself. Quite by accident, I found that I gained weight and my perpetrator did not like me “fat” and the abuse stopped. I guess you can see the contradiction there. With obesity, I was safe from abuse or so I told myself all of my life. The problem is that I understand this intellectually, but emotionally I don’t feel safe enough to lose weight. There’s the rub.
I have since come to love myself just the way that I am. Whether thin or heavy, I am me and I love me.
My quote for today is a favorite and does have to do with food. I don’t indulge often but when I do….
Assign. 3- Skin, Prose Poetry, Internal Rhyme
This skin betrays me with its agedness, its lines, wrinkles, and brown spots bruising my sun-exposed surfaces. My face now looks as if a roadmap on Google with primary, secondary, and tertiary roads. When I was young, I thought nothing of bothering my skin’s surface with sunscreens, lotions and potions to prolong the life of this organ taken for granted by me. What did I care? I was young and would live forever and my baby like skin would always reflect my agelessness and innocent youth. I thought, “You are as young as you feel.” and I said this to myself, my friends, my family again and again. Now, I zig where I should zag and sag just like a bag. I am older and realize that my skin reflects how it was treated. My skin was abused and used by me year after year. I ignored it, thought my youth would last evermore. Yes, I abused it, used it, covered and uncovered it just to suit my fancy or the latest fad. Now, elderly and retired, i must accept my consequences of neglect and abuse. It is no wonder my skin betrays me with its agedness.
© Susan Langer