Moments – Poetry Rehab 101 8/27/15

Moments 
 
This poem was written by me as I thought of my childhood memories with moment both good and bad. At first, there were only black moments to remember in flashbacks, but as time and therapy progressed some good moments of childhood play also came back to me. I realized that both the bad moments and the good moments made up who I was and both were a part of me. I had a choice, however, where I would dwell. I could live in the black memories or in the good memories. I choose to live in the good memories and moment.
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Moments

Moments come into view as freeze frame images.
Each reminiscent of times passed long, long ago.
Some moments good with child play and laughter.
Some moments filled with dark abuse and sadness.

 

Without the black-filled moments, good was absent.
Absent memories haunt my being with “what ifs.”
These doubts cause darkness and decay to resurface.
Did I make “it” up? Is “it” just for attention? Why?

 

Most moments are now passed in peaceful solitude.
But there still remains thoughts and doubts within.
Questions unanswered reemerge from time to time.
Still, peaceful moments prompt that “it” did occur.

 

Moments today stay focused on “now,” not the past.
Now is where my peace lay and where I know truth.
Now is where I choose to live my life in present tense.
“Now” moments fill my inner soul with peacefulness.

 

Author Notes: From moments of memory of childhood sexual abuse.

DarkSadHopePeace


 

 This is my entry for Poetry 101 Rehab for 8/24/15.

The poetry | 101 | rehab is hosted by Andy Townend.  

My prompt is moments. My entry is Moments, a free verse poem So, this week, show us your moments. You can link to your post in response to today’s prompt by leaving a comment on my post and / or by clicking on the poetry | 101 | badge below and leaving a link. And you can also tag your post with Poetry 101 Rehab so that it shows up in the WordPress Reader. Please feel free to copy and paste the badge across to your own post and your own site 🙂

30 Days of Reflection-Day 6-Trust

Pause and Reflect…

 Yesterday I spoke of what I was learning and said, “What I am learning is to just LET IT GO…Let go and let God. I believe He will provide (a) more money or (b) me to live this month without further unexpected expenses. David’s Psalm 27:14 says it all for me. I am still learning to let it go. No new expenses and the amount in the bank account remains steady. Thank you, God, for your provision.

 Now, my reflection on today’s question. 

Question Day 6: Where in my daily life do I need to delegate? (either to a person, machine or calendar)

Delegation for me is difficult. It is more than telling someone to do this or that. It involves trust and if you haven’t noticed, trust is a big issue for me. From infancy, I learned not to trust anyone. I couldn’t depend upon my mother or father to provide for my needs. Enough dwelling on the past…
I never delegate. That is one reason that I did not like Nursing Management even though I was worked as a manager, director of nursing, and supervisor. I always have Plan A, B, and C with contingency plans for each. Through learning to trust God, I am slowly learning to trust others enough to delegate.
 
The key thing to remember is that you don’t delegate away the responsibility. That remains yours. This is why trust is so important. Trust is a process. It is fluid and either grows or diminishes based upon what you experience in the process. For me to delegate, I need to trust that you will respect me and prove trustworthy. Until then, I trust my inner soul and my Lord.
Write and tell me your thoughts about delegation and trust.
 

I pray that you learn to delegate as your trust grows.

Susan…

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