30 Day Attitude of Gratitude Challenge Day 24- Failure

First….

Today was a difficult day for me. I had conflict in front, behind, to the left, to the right, above and below me. I had to continually remind myself to be thankful because I couldn’t find anything to be thankful for. The quote I chose tonight is as much for me (if not more so) as it is for you. It is a quote from Charles Swindoll. Wikipedia says,

Chuck Swindoll – Wikipedia, Charles Rozell “Chuck” Swindoll (born October 18, 1934) is an evangelical Christian pastor, author, educator, and radio preacher. He founded Insight for Living, headquartered in Plano, Texas, which airs a radio program of the same name on more than 2,000 stations around the world in 15 languages.


The Quote…

The quote I chose is:

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” ~ Charles Swindoll

Lessons..

Today, I blew it. I failed at being grateful, showing gratitude. As I said, it was a difficult day. You see, I am diabetic on insulin for control of my blood sugar. I take two types of Insulin, long acting and short acting. I am completely out of my medication because of switching from the local pharmacy to mail order through my insurance company. The switch was necessary because of cost. For 90 days of insulin, the cost had skyrocketed to over  $650.00. The mail order pharmacy would save me about $100.00 every 90 days. Not much of a savings but every bit counts. 

I had spent the week arguing with the new pharmacy and explaining that I was fast running out of medication. They seemed unconcerned and were unresponsive. They had protocols to follow. So, now it was Friday and after calling my doctor with the continuing problem, they ordered enough insulin to get me through the weekend and into the early part of the week when hopefully the medication would arrive in the mail. Long story short, the cost of the medication to get me through the weekend was $269 a bottle. I needed two and my insurance company would not give an override so the cost would drop.

I spent the day arguing with the mail order and local pharmacy but to no avail. I was angry, sad, frustrated, and hopeless by 6 pm when everything closed. Without my insulin, I risk being hospitalized, coma and death. Nobody cared, but me and I lost it and cried, feeling again victimized, and had no gratitude in me. 

The solution to the problem was:

  • After falling down, I stood back up.
  • I took some deep breaths. recentered, and stopped crying.
  • I surrendered the problem to my H.P. (God).
  • I got busy doing something to distract myself from the problem.
  • I listened to praise music to change my mood.

The problem is not solved. I still have no insulin, but I am on the right track. The quote says that life is 10% what happens to us (my lack of insulin) and 90% how I react. I could control how I reacted. The problem didn’t go away, but I could control me and how I reacted. It isn’t much, but I am again at peace.

How was your day? I pray it was better than mine, but rather than compare, just praise and thank your H.P. for your day. As Al-anon says, “This too shall pass…Let go and Let God.”

Gratitude List…

  1. My H.P. (God).
  2. That although I don’t have the problem solved, I can focus on other things that I have.
  3. That I can choose to get back up when I fail, fall down..
  4. Music and how it touches my heart giving me a memory of gratitude.
  5. My family who have been a good support through this problem.

Good night and don’t forget to show gratitude.

Susan…