30 Day Attitude of Gratitude Challenge Day 9


 I was searching for quotes on gratitude this evening on Google found myself praying because nothing was speaking to my soul. As I prayed, I was reminded of the verse in the Bible, Ephesians 5:19. At first, I said, “No Lord. I don’t want to come across as preachy, holier than thou, etc. etc.” My spirit (inner voice) spoke back to me. “Walk the talk.” Or don’t deny that you are a Christian because you are afraid of rejection by others.
Try as I may, the verse stuck in my head and my heart and I found myself on YouTube listening to some different Christian songs. I decided to put my mouth (or should I say my computer) where my heart told me to go. So, if you aren’t Christian or spiritual then this is not the blog for you to read and listen to tonight. But I ask you to listen with an open mind and heart to what I am writing and the music playing tonight. Thank you for understanding that to deny that I worship God and Jesus Christ, His Son is the opposite of gratitude. It is  ingratitude or thanklessness.

The Quote…

The quote I chose this evening is:

Ephesians 5:19: “Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and singing praises in your heart to the Lord.”


Tonight, I share with you, my love of music and how music can lend itself to gratitude through a heart of prayer and praise. Music soothes the soul and eases emotional and physical pain. I found myself in a great deal of pain when I had flashbacks of the childhood sexual abuse. At the same time, my marriage was failing and my step-children were acting out with the use of drugs and alcohol in their teens. Life truly was crashing in around me. I went to church and prayed and cried and cried and prayed and the music soothed my anguished soul.

One of my favorite Bible verses was the quote for tonight, Ephesians 5:19, “Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and singing praises in your heart to the Lord.” That is what the music did for me. It spoke to me in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. I learned through the pain to have a heart of worship and to praise God even in the storms of life. Music told the tale of my victories and defeats and allowed me to express my emotions through the music. At the same time, music taught me Bible verses that helped me to grow stronger. Over time, joy while singing replaced crying while singing and slowly the pain diminished and my depression decreased.

With that, I just want to share some spiritual songs and psalms of worship. Just immerse yourself in the music and see the thankfulness and gratitude of music.




Gratitude List… 

  1. My love of all types of music.
  2. The ability for music to soothe the emotional pain and the beast in me.
  3. Ephesians 5:19, “Speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs; singing, and singing praises in your heart to the Lord.”
  4. My Higher Power, whom I call God for loving me and sacrificing His life for me.
  5. The worship songs chosen tonight as each speaks to my inner soul. 

I hope you enjoyed tonight’s quote, music, and my gratitude list. Meet me tomorrow for another quote about gratitude or thanksgiving.

Good night,



30 Day Attitude of Gratitude Challenge Day 8


   I was searching for a quote on gratitude this evening on Google and found one by someone I really admire, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, past president of the USA from January 20, 1961 – November 22, 1963 when he was assassinated in Dallas, TX. He was the first Catholic president and was a Democrat. He was most famous for his quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”  made during his inauguration speech. This was made in reference to the establishment of The Peace Corps.
I was almost 13 when he was assassinated and I can still remember where I was when it was announced that he was murdered. I was in 7th grade Civics class and my school was closed after the announcement. That weekend the TV was filled with images of the funeral procession. That was the first time I became “politically aware.”  Susan…


The Quote…

The quote I chose this evening from JFK is:

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”  John F. Kennedy


The quote has two parts as I can see. The first part is, “As we express our gratitude,” and is stated as a given. It is expected that we express our gratitude from John Kennedy’s viewpoint. It is not an option to go without expressing gratitude. It is that important. Most people who have learned to express gratitude understand how vitally important because it keeps all things, good and bad, in perspective. We give thanks first and figure out the reasons for the situation or event later if at all. We are not told to only express gratitude for the “good” things that happen in our life but all things. Gratitude is an attitude. It is learning to look for the good even in the bad.

The second part of the quote is, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” In this part of the quote President Kennedy reminds us not to forget and then you ask, “Not forget what?” We are not to forget that the highest appreciation is not in words but in living those words. That is really deep thinking. That is “inner soul” thinking. If I have to tell you that I appreciate and have gratitude for you but I do not follow up those words with action, then they are just empty words and false. No one should have to guess is he is appreciated or if someone is grateful for him. The same goes for a situation. Being thankful for a situation, even if it is bad, is shown by living true to your words.

An example is if I tell you that I have gratitude for the experiences of the childhood abuse that I experienced but do not show in my actions that I do, then the words ring false. Now that I have recovered from the childhood abuse, I can see not only the horrible parts of the experiences but the good that came from those experiences such as my creativity, my caring, my empathy for others who have been abused, etc. I can see things through the lens of “gratitude” and thanksgiving. Do I do this 100% of the time? No. I am not perfect and don’t strive to be. But I try to live what I believe each day and if I fail, I stand back up and try again. In Alcholics Anonymous and Al-anon, they have a slogan…“Walk the talk.” meaning that your walk (actions) should match your talk (w0rds). In other words, they can see through the bullsh*t.

Are you walking the talk of gratitude or are you just giving it lip service? When you pray or meditate next time, ask your inner soul to let you know.

Gratitude List… 

  1. My desire for a life of gratitude.
  2. The tools that I have been given for gratitude in the form of prayer and meditation. 
  3. My past experiences with Al-anon and AA with their teachings and slogans.
  4. My Higher Power, whom I call God for allowing me the choice to be thankful or not but always encouraging me to show gratitude for even the bad things in my life.
  5. My gift of teaching so that others can learn about gratitude.

I hope you enjoyed tonight’s quote and my gratitude list. Return tomorrow for another quote about gratitude or thanksgiving. Good night.

Hope to see you next blog,



Surviving Abuse Poetry


Today, I share some surviving abuse poetry that I have written during the last month. Some are sad, lonely and others speak of childhood retreats and changes as I dealt with my childhood sexual abuse. Childhood sexual abuse is something that changes the very fiber of your inner soul. However, through counseling and support you can recover. and live a productive life with only fleeting memories of what happened. If you need help or support dealing with childhood sexual abuse here are some links that you can check out.

RAINN Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network


Free Book, Beyond Surviving Guide

Child Abuse Survivor on Facebook

A Child Abandoned

a child abandoned by love
a child abandoned by care
a child abandoned by safety
a child abandoned by self

a child deserted by adults
responsible to love, care
a child left alone and lonely
with a childhood full of fear

a fearful child at five
a reclusive child at eight
an alienated child at ten
child’s memories forgotten

loneliness of teenhood years
fearfulness of intimacy, love
untrusting and painful shyness
deep shame and self-hating

suicidal during adulthood
depression, anxiety, panic
self-medicating with food
fear and avoidance of others.

therapy restores loving care
therapy teaches reparenting
therapy teaches about safety
therapy teaches about self-love

now fearlessness and strength
replace fear of abandonment
now self-love replaces self-hate
now belongingness replaces…

alienation with connectedness


Night’s Lonely Sunset

Little child seems so sad, alone

witnessing the night’s sunset?

Crying real tears, she looks down.

What secrets hide in her soul?

Can soul tell of the loneliness?

Each night as I sit alone

witnessing the sunset,

I witness sunset’s beauty,

feeling lonely, crying real tears.

In my own soul all I find…

leads to more loneliness.

What can be done to end

the sadness…the loneliness?

Desperation cries out

to all who are sad, alone

experiencing life’s yearning

for intercession from the gods

to diminish their sad loneliness

while night’s beautiful sun sets.

© Susan Langer,18 days ago


My Secret Garden

My secret garden was much like yours.
I escaped daily to my garden alone;
dreaming dreams and wishing wishes.
But your’s was real, mine was fantasy.

Even on your darkest day, you escaped
leaving the pain behind, finding your joy.
My pain remained even in my secret place.
Pain embedded upon my inner soul forever.

Choices that you had were clear…stay, go.
My choices vague, boundariless, unsafe.
If fantasy remained my reality, I was lost.
If reality remained ever present, I was lost.

My secret garden was beautiful though lonely.
My hiding place safer but alone, isolated.
Your’s full of beauty, growth, friendships.
Your’s with merriment, laughter, life.

When you returned were you lonely?
When you closed the door were you sad?
I was…I was…I was…lonely…lonely…lonely…
I was…I was…I was…sad…sad…sad…

Do you have fond memories of that time?
Do you recall with fondness those times?
I don’t…I don’t…I don’t…I don’t…I don’t…
Yet, my secret garden allowed for survival.


Butterflies bespeak change;
growth within and without.
The butterfly evolves from
seed to cocoon to beauty
with grace and awakening;
adapting to adversity and
ever changing perspective.

Our perception is one of
finiteness and futility of
causes and changes within
entrenched stubbornness
of mind and matter while
seeking acceptance of our
futile sameness without.

But change we must and
grow we will as we begin
our search for inner peace.
Understanding within that
we become who we are by
knowing our inner self.
Change begets growth.

So, as the butterfly begets
growth and metamorphosis
to inner and outer beauty,
do we exchange our futility
for hope while beholding
our inner and outer beauty.
We become the butterfly.


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30 Day Attitude of Gratitude Challenge Day 7


  I was searching for a quote on patience this evening and found one that I really liked. The quote is from David G. Allen, an author of several books. He was born in Palmer, Alaska and his genre is Contemporary Science fiction, Action, Espionage, Christian fiction, and Fantasy with a Psychological edge. He published his most recent book in 2014, titled, Pool of Echoes and it is available on Amazon. I was unfamiliar with this author but checked out his website at http://www.authordavid.com and read the 1st chapter of his novella, Dive, part of his book and he sounds very interesting. 

The Quote…

The quote I chose this evening is:

“Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in mind.”


The quote has 2 parts to it and is simple to read but more difficult to follow. The first part of the quote to look at is the words “calm acceptance.” This speaks to being calm and according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “a quiet and peaceful state or condition; a peaceful mental or emotional state.” We are at our calmest when we are centered, inner-soul centered. Then, there is the word, “acceptance” defined by spiritual teacher, counselor, author, Eckhart Tolle as:

E. Tolle (Power of Now, etc.) defines acceptance as a “this is it” response to anything occurring in any moment of life. There, strength, peace and serenity are available when one stops struggling to resist, or hang on tightly to what is so in any given moment.

So it is with calm acceptance, peaceful and “this is it” response that we define patience. I first learned of calm acceptance in Al-anon while seeking help for dealing with my ex-husband’s alcoholism. Al-non told me about the Serenity Prayer and the part about “accept the things I can not change…” and realized that I was there for me not for my ex. I needed to accept that I couldn’t stop his drinking. With that acceptance, came peace of mind. His drinking wasn’t my problem but his. My problem was me and learning to let go and accept that I wasn’t in control of the situation.

The second part of the quote addresses acceptance that things can happen in a different order than I had in mind. Again, acceptance… that I don’t control the order in which things happen. I have to let go of my belief that I control everything. I didn’t realize what a burden it was thinking that I had to control everything around me. But the second part of the quote says I can accept that “things can happen in a different order that than you (me) have in mind.”  I feel free to accept that I am not the controller of the Universe. How freeing that is.

Are you as ready as I was to let go of controlling everything? Go ahead and read and reread this quote until it becomes a central part of your belief system. What have you go to lose, except the burden of control?

Gratitude List… 

  1. My ability to let go of control and accept calmly things I can’t control.
  2. My ability to center myself through deep breathing and meditation when I want to control. 
  3. My past experiences with Al-anon.
  4. My Higher Power, whom I call God for being in control instead of me.
  5. My willingness to research and learn new things about new people.

I hope you enjoyed tonight’s quote, gratitude list, and the video. BTW, sorry this is after midnight. One of the things I was not in control of was a storm we had which knocked out our electricity, thus the internet, for several hours tonight. That is why I chose “patience” as the topic tonight. Good night.

Until later,